Paedomorphism is a biological term which refers to the retention of juvenile characteristics into an adult form of an organism. Neoteny is the suppression of development which results in a sexually mature organism with juvenile characteristics.
I was going to comment on athlete’s outfits today, but after watching the women’s gymnastics last night, I’m sure the Chinese are doing something to produce a whole team of 16, 17 and 18 year olds who appear to be 9, 10 and 11. It really should be Little Girl’s Gymnastics.
"Raise you hand if you need someone to take you to the bathroom?"
Apparently the Chinese government is able to produce documentation proving their ages (shocking!). This suggests they have either perfected the technique of removing the pituitary glands of gymnasts age 10 (an example of neoteny) or have created a population of childlike adults through selective breeding (an example of paedomorphism).
Anyway they are doing it, it's cheating. So to help out the IOC who have not to noticed there are a bunch of underage girls competing as adults, here are some handy tips to tell of your lady gymnasts are too young:
· Their sticker books contains pictures of ponies instead of the Jonas Brothers
· The state fair carnies won’t let them on any of the ‘big’ rides
· Leotards come from Baby Gap
· They can’t drive in the passenger seat if your car has airbags
· The tooth fairy still makes regular visits
· The gold medal is heavy enough to pull them over
· Question: “Who is your favorite actor?”. Answer: “Dora the Explorer”.
· They arrive at the competition in a stroller or backpack
· Gatorade is in sippy cups
· Some of their training takes place in a Jolly Jumper
· Their last period was…never
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35 comments:
LOL ... yes, they do appear to b gettting younger and younger, don't they.
Sadly, the Olympics are no longer what they were....
Yeah, the wife and I were talking about this last night and wondering if these little girls will someday come clean with their real ages. Ya know, like when they hit their 40s, will their conscience get the best of them and will they consider themselves cheaters. Did you hear Bela Karolyi comments last night regarding this?
They arrive at the competition in a stroller or backpack.
New heights with this post, buddy. Hysterical!
Do the Chinese think that blue eyeshadow makes one appear older? Apparently. A very 70s approach to paedomorphism.
Oh, no. I'm not bitter.
Just call me Mrs. Kerolyi.
Freaky stuff indeed! Makes you wonder what they are doing to stunt their growth.
I think you made me grow a funny bone- i have to go catch my breath!
At my first interview i was asked what are 3 of my best traits- this guy was pretty cool- I didn't want to hurt him- although I did tell him I hate those questions.In the second interview they asked me the dreaded where do you see yourself in 5 years. I told them also I hated that question before I answered. Maybe i'll be headed up to Gibsonton for carney work soon- you can appreciate it more if you read Randy wayne White's "Tampa Burn"
If only I could grow a beard or gain 500 pounds!(for the carney work)
Ouch!
I just thought I was getting older and older.
P.S.- surgical washable markers ONLY!
How old do you have to be to be in the Olympics? Don't they ALL look pretty young?? I think it has less to do with the shady Chinese government (and shady it is) and more to do with the fact that we're getting really old.
I know I know. It's hard to accept. Embrace it Trooper. Embrace it.
I like indoor vball too. Probably because that's what I grew up playing...I just think it's way more fun to watch...and play.
It's like high school when the incoming freshmen looked smaller and smaller every year.
Thanks for the vocab lesson and the chuckles. The poor girls. I imagine that they may be sheltered enough to not even know about the swirling controversy (much less their real ages...)
HA HA HA! Your 'handy tips" are hysterical! And I love your caption for the photo!
While watching last night's competition, I had the same thought as laurie ... "what's with the blue eye shadow?"
Little Miss' 1st phase-in day of kindergarten was today... I asked what her favorite thing about her day was. Her answer? "Snack and watching Arthur on TV."
I so love your sense of humor! Yeah, I'm pretty sure that the Chinese government is less than trustworthy.
Our teenage gymnasts looked like octagenarians next to this preschool class of Chinese girls. It's just uncomfortably obvious that none of these girls have hit their teens. Your tip list is spot on perfect and hilarious!
THere's one girl - the one on the left in your pic - she I can see being in her upper teens... the rest of them... no freeking WAY
Right on. I was decidedly disturbed last night watching the gymnastics competition. And after that lip syncing debacle, I wouldn't put it past the Chinese government to fudge the gymnast's ages.
Also, the nervousness and intensity and the not looking like they were having fun on the little gymnast's faces broke my heart.
But still! Good on them for getting the gold.
hahah that's funny! They are... like... looking very young! lol
Thanks for stopping by my blog!! :D
Question: why aren't you doing Olympic Color Commentary for The Daily Show?!
None of the woman there are having periods though. The swimmers and runners did once but that's a thing of the past...
You know what? There aren't enough blog posts about neoteny around. I'm glad to have found my way over here.
yikes...
now I feel better- I thought I was just getting REALLY old
or the fact that they don't even know what a training bra is yet....oh wait...
They are gymnasts....they don't need one of those until they are long out of the game.....
And Dude? Trooper Thorn? haha--meow?
Thanks for visiting my blog!
My son said he wanted to be a gymnast but I looked at him and at the gymnasts on TV and told him he was too tall (he's 7). He looked at me funny so I told him I was just kidding and he could be anything he wanted.
He was happy with my replacement answer and scurried off but in the back of my mind...I was still thinking, waaayyy too tall.
Oh, you nailed this one! So putting up a link to this. It's great!
Please, oh please! Write a post about their outfits, too!!! That would soooo make my week.
Alan Smithee knows people who know things, and they tell him that they can tell these girls aren't 16 by their facial characteristics.
I think you may just be right. Not a single one of them looks old enough to have put away the Barbie or Bratz dolls in pursuit of men.
Hilarious! And come on it's the Chinese government...aren't they the same government putting lead paint all over our toys and putting poison in our shrimp and fish....and you think that this tots weren't also a part of some scheme! Yes....this was spot on! Good on you!
cheers!
i think they need to market it to the aging... anti-aging is huge :)
You all have such great ideas. Thanks for all the comments. Today's review of Week 1 Olympic outfits is now posted.
okay, first, i have to admit not knowing either word in your title, thanks for expanding my vocabulary. i will NEVER use them in everyday conversation.
second, there could be a job for you at the letterman show constructing top ten lists.
at least the chinese team doesn't have access to AARP cards like the American team does.
Yeah this is so ridiculous. Even if they were losing horribly, it would still be ridiculous-- what a sham!
Catchy title and superbly (is that even a word?) funny commentary.
If I recall correctly, Asians tend to be neotenic anyway - compared to Europeans and Americans. With Africans tending to be...whatever the opposite of neotenic is - the signs of aging appear earlier in blacks than whites.
And before anyone accuses me of racism, my source is Stephen Gould, writing about and against racism.
The other thing is that, in a country with as many people, and as many gymnasts as China, they can afford to be pickier when selecting for teams. We may only be seeing the extreme end of the spectrum.
They do look wierd though. Like those hormonally pumped up East German atheletes of the 80s, but in reverse.
OMgosh...this is great!!
I'm trying not to burst out laughing in the middle of the office right now. Though I'm sure everyone would get a kick out of reading this. You ought to submit that list to the Olympic committee for official approval and adoption. ;)
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