How Do You Keep Your Dog Off Drugs?

Big fright this week with the Lab. I got home and found him stumbling, twitching and tipping over. My first thought was he was having a stroke/ I pictured him paralyzed and being fed pudding for his remaining years. The kids kept asking why he was tripping over his feet and tipping to one side as he was sitting; his feet slowing sliding out from under him. I kept telling them I didn't know. I may be in my 40's but haven't yet experienced the thrill of a heart attack.

I made an emergency run to the vet, told her what I found and my concern, and stood there wringing my hands while she did a cursory examination. She took off the stethoscope and asked, "Has he gotten into any mushrooms?"

Are you kidding me? My dog is high?

Turns out he got into some type of psychedelic fungus in the compost pile.

Now I'm worried I'm going to come home and find he's moved a crappy trailer into the back yard and he's got some mold lab going. All my ziploc bags have disappeared and there are shakey looking dogs hanging around at all times.